themselves; which there plainly is, either by avoiding reflection,
or (if they do reflect) by religious equivocation, subterfuges, and
palliating matters to themselves; by these means conscience may be
laid asleep, and they may go on in a course of wickedness with less
disturbance. All the various turns, doubles, and intricacies in a
dishonest heart cannot be unfolded or laid open; but that there is
somewhat of that kind is manifest, be it to be called self-deceit,
or by any other name. Balaam had before his eyes the authority of
God, absolutely forbidding him what he, for the sake of a reward,
had the strongest inclination to: he was likewise in a state of
mind sober enough to consider death and his last end: by these
considerations he was restrained, first from going to the king of
Moab, and after he did go, from cursing Israel. But notwithstanding
this, there was great wickedness in his heart. He could not forego
the rewards of unrighteousness: he therefore first seeks for
indulgences, and when these could not be obtained, he sins against
the whole meaning, end, and design of the prohibition, which no
consideration in the world could prevail with him to go against the
letter of. And surely that impious counsel he gave to Balak against
the children of Israel was, considered in itself, a greater piece of
wickedness than if he had cursed them in words.

If it be inquired what his situation, his hopes, and fears were, in
respect to this his wish; the answer must be, that consciousness of
the wickedness of his heart must necessarily have destroyed all
settled hopes of dying the death of the righteous: he could have no
calm satisfaction in this view of his last end: yet, on the other
hand, it is possible that those partial regards to his duty, now
mentioned, might keep him from perfect despair.