The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
page 108 of 227 (47%)
page 108 of 227 (47%)
![]() | ![]() |
|
"Dost thou not know?"
"No, I dostent!" "Listin man, & I'll tell ye!" sed the strange female; "for years I hav yearned for thee. I knowd thou wast in the world, sumwhares, tho I didn't know whare. My hart sed he would cum and I took courage. He HAS cum--he's here--you air him--you air my Affinerty! O 'tis too mutch! too mutch!" and she sobbed agin. "Yes," I anserd, "I think it is a darn site too mutch!" "Hast thou not yearned for me?" she yelled, ringin her hands like a female play acter. "Not a yearn!" I bellerd at the top of my voice, throwin her away from me. The free lovers who was standin round obsarvin the scene commenst for to holler "shame" "beast," etsettery, etsettery. I was very mutch riled, and fortifyin myself with a spare tent stake, I addrest them as follers: "You pussylanermus critters, go way from me and take this retchid woman with you. I'm a law-abidin man, and beleeve in good, old-fashioned institutions. I am marrid & my orfsprings resemble me if I am a showman! I think your Affinity bizniss is cussed noncents, besides bein outrajusly wicked. Why don't you behave desunt like other folks? Go to work and earn a honist livin and not stay round |
|