here in this lazy, shiftless way, pizenin the moral atmosphere
with your pestifrous ideas! You wimin folks go back to your
lawful husbands if you've got any, and take orf them skanderlous
gownds and trowsis, and dress respectful like other wimin. You
men folks, cut orf them pirattercal whiskers, burn up them
infurnel pamplits, put sum weskuts on, go to work choppin wood,
splittin fence rales, or tillin the sile." I pored 4th my
indignashun in this way till I got out of breth, when I stopt.
I shant go to Berlin Hites agin, not if I live to be as old
as Methooseler.


1.15. A VISIT TO BRIGHAM YOUNG.

It is now goin on 2 (too) yeres, as I very well remember, since
I crossed the Planes for Kaliforny, the Brite land of Jold.
While crossin the Planes all so bold I fell in with sum noble
red men of the forest (N.B. This is rote Sarcasticul. Injins
is Pizin, whar ever found,) which thay Sed I was their Brother,
& wanted for to smoke the Calomel of Peace with me. Thay then
stole my jerkt beef, blankits, etsettery, skalpt my orgin
grinder & scooted with a Wild Hoop. Durin the Cheaf's techin
speech he sed he shood meet me in the Happy Huntin Grounds. If
he duz thare will be a fite. But enuff of this ere. "Reven
Noose Muttons," as our skoolmaster, who has got Talent into
him, cussycally obsarve.

I arrove at Salt Lake in doo time. At Camp Scott there was a
lot of U.S. sogers, hosstensibly sent out there to smash the
Mormons but really to eat Salt vittles & play poker & other