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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
page 117 of 227 (51%)

Do you read Watt's Hims regler?

Do you use boughten tobacker?
(I.e., that which has been bought. A very common word in the
interior of New England and New York. It is applied to
articles purchased from the shops, to distinguish them from
articles of home manufacture. Many farmers make their own
sugar from the maple-tree, and their coffee from barley or rye.
West India sugar or coffee is then called "boughten sugar," &c.
"This is a home-made carpet; that a 'boughten' one," i.e., one
bought at a shop. In the North of England, baker's bread is
called "bought bread."

Wat's your fitin wate?

Air you trubeld with biles?

How does your meresham culler?

State whether you air blind, deaf, idiotic, or got the
heaves?

Do you know any Opry singers, and if so how much do they owe
you?

What's the average of virtoo on the Ery Canawl?

If 4 barrils of Emptins pored onto a barn floor will kiver
it, how many plase can Dion Bourcicault write in a year?
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