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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
page 118 of 227 (51%)
[Emptyings, pronounced "emptins," the lees of beer, cider, &c.;
yeast or anything by which bread is leavened:-

"'Twill take more emptins, by a long chalk, than this new
party's got,
To give such heavy cakes as these a start, I tell ye what."
"The Biglow Papers."]

Is Beans a regler article of diet in your family?

How many chickins hav you, on foot and in the shell?

Air you aware that Injianny whisky is used in New York
shootin galrys instid of pistols, and that it shoots furthest?

Was you ever at Niagry Falls?

Was you ever in the Penitentiary?

State how much pork, impendin crysis, Dutch cheeze, popler
suvrinty, standard poetry, children's strainers, slave code,
catnip, red flannel, ancient history, pickled tomaters, old
junk, perfoomery, coal ile, liberty, hoop skirt, &c., you hav
on hand?

But it didn't work. I got into a row at the fust house I stopt
to, with some old maids. Disbelieven the ansers they giv in
regard to their ages, I endevered to open their mouths and look
at their teeth, same as they do with hosses, but they floo into
a vilent rage and tackled me with brooms and sich. Takin the
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