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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 1: Essays, Sketches, and Letters by Artemus Ward
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to her proper speer--whitch beleeves she is indowed with as
much intelleck as man is--whitch beleeves she is trampled on
and aboozed--& who will resist henso4th & forever the
incroachments of proud & domineering men."

Durin her discourse, the exsentric female grabed me by the
coat-kollor & was swinging her umbreller wildly over my hed.

"I hope, marm," sez I, starting back, "that your intensions is
honorable! I'm a lone man hear in a strange place. Besides,
I've a wife to hum."

"Yes," cried the female, "& she's a slave! Doth she never
dream of freedom--doth she never think of throwin off the yoke
of tyrrinny & thinkin & votin for herself?--Doth she never
think of these here things?"

"Not bein a natral born fool," sed I, by this time a little
riled, "I kin safely say that she dothunt."

"Oh whot--whot!" screamed the female, swingin her umbreller in
the air.--"O, what is the price that woman pays for her
expeeriunce!"

"I don't know," sez I; "the price of my show is 15 cents pur
individooal."

"& can't our Soisety go in free?" asked the female.

"Not if I know it," sed I.
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