"Crooil, crooil man!" she cried, & bust into teers.

"Won't you let my darter in?" sed anuther of the exsentric
wimin, taken me afeckshunitely by the hand. "O, please let my
darter in,--shee's a sweet gushin child of natur."

"Let her gush!" roared I, as mad as I cood stick at their
tarnal nonsense; "let her gush!" Where upon they all sprung
back with the simultanious observashun that I was a Beest.

"My female friends," sed I, "be4 you leeve, I've a few remarks
to remark; wa them well. The female woman is one of the
greatest institooshuns of which this land can boste. Its
onpossible to get along without her. Had there bin no female
wimin in the world, I should scarcely be here with my
unparalleld show on this very occashun. She is good in
sickness--good in wellness--good all the time. O woman,
woman!" I cried, my feelins worked up to a hi poetick pitch,
"you air a angle when you behave yourself; but when you take
off your proper appairel & (mettyforically speaken)--get into
pantyloons--when you desert your firesides, & with your heds
full of wimin's rites noshuns go round like roarin lions,
seekin whom you may devour someboddy--in short, when you
undertake to play the man, you play the devil and air an
emfatic noosance. My female friends," I continnered, as they
were indignantly departin, "wa well what A. Ward has sed!"


1.23. WOULD-BE SEA DOGS.