Sum of the captings on the Upper Ohio River put on a heep of
airs. To hear 'em git orf saler lingo you'd spose they'd bin
on the briny Deep for a lifetime, when the fact is they haint
tasted salt water since they was infants, when they had to take
it for WORMS. Still they air good natered fellers, and when
they drink they take a dose big enuff for a grown person.


1.24. THE PRINCE OF WALES.

To my friends of the Editorial Corpse:

I rite these lines on British sile. I've bin follerin Mrs.
Victory's hopeful sun Albert Edward threw Kanady with my
onparaleled Show, and tho I haint made much in a pecoonary pint
of vew, I've lernt sumthin new, over hear on British Sile,
whare they bleeve in Saint George and the Dragoon. Previs to
cumin over hear I tawt my organist how to grind Rule Brittany
and other airs which is poplar on British Sile. I likewise
fixt a wax figger up to represent Sir Edmun Hed the Govner
Ginral. The statoot I fixt up is the most versytile wax
statoot I ever saw. I've showd it as Wm. Penn, Napoleon
Bonypart, Juke of Wellington, the Beneker Boy, Mrs. Cunningham
& varis other notid persons, and also for a sertin pirut named
Hix. I've bin so long amung wax statoots that I can fix 'em up
to soot the tastes of folks, & with sum paints I hav I kin giv
their facis a beneverlent or fiendish look as the kase
requires. I giv Sir Edmun Hed a beneverlent look, & when sum
folks who thawt they was smart sed it didn't look like Sir