Feller Citizens--I hain't got time to notis the growth of
Ameriky frum the time when the Mayflowers cum over in the
Pilgrim and brawt Plymouth Rock with them, but every skool boy
nose our kareer has been tremenjis. You will excuse me if I
don't prase the erly settlers of the Kolonies. Peple which
hung idiotic old wimin for witches, burnt holes in Quakers'
tongues and consined their feller critters to the tredmill and
pillery on the slitest provocashun may hav bin very nice folks
in their way, but I must confess I don't admire their stile,
and will pass them by. I spose they ment well, and so, in the
novel and techin langwidge of the nusepapers, "peas to their
ashis." Thare was no diskount, however, on them brave men who
fit, bled and died in the American Revolushun. We needn't be
afraid of setting 'em up two steep. Like my show, they will
stand any amount of prase. G. Washington was abowt the best
man this world ever sot eyes on. He was a clear-heded,
warm-harted, and stiddy goin man. He never slopt over! The
prevailin weakness of most public men is to SLOP OVER! [Put
them words in large letters--A. W.] They git filled up and
slop. They Rush Things. They travel too much on the high
presher principle. They git on to the fust poplar hobbyhoss
whitch trots along, not carin a sent whether the beest is even
goin, clear sited and sound or spavined, blind and bawky. Of
course they git throwed eventooally, if not sooner. When they
see the multitood goin it blind they go Pel Mel with it,
instid of exerting theirselves to set it right. They can't
see that the crowd which is now bearin them triumfantly on its
shoulders will soon diskiver its error and cast them into the
hoss pond of Oblivyun, without the slitest hesitashun.
Washington never slopt over. That wasn't George's stile. He