My dauter and wife was mad, but I couldn't help it; I felt in
a comikil mood.

"It is a wonder to me, Sir," sed the artist, "considerin what
a widespread reputation you have, that some of our Eastern
managers don't secure you."

"It's a wonder to me," said I to my wife, "that somebody don't
secure him with a chain."

After breakfast I went over to town to see my old friends.
The editor of the "Bugle" greeted me cordyully, and showed me
the follerin' article he'd just written about the paper on the
other side of the street:

"We have recently put up in our office an entirely new sink,
of unique construction--with two holes through which the
soiled water may pass to the new bucket underneath. What will
the hell-hounds of "The Advertiser" say to this! We shall
continue to make improvements as fast as our rapidly
increasing business may warrant. Wonder whether a certain
editor's wife thinks she can palm off a brass watch-chain on
this community for a gold one?"

"That," says the Editor, "hits him whar he lives. That will
close him up as bad as it did when I wrote an article
ridicooling his sister, who's got a cock-eye."

A few days after my return I was shown a young man, who says