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The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama by Artemus Ward
page 21 of 58 (36%)
in Salt Lake, Brigham Young having recognized the right of
the "Saints" to "liquor up" occasionally. But whatever
other failings they may have, intemperance cannot be laid to
their charge. Among the Mormons there are no paupers, no
gamblers, and no drunkards.) I prefer temperance hotels--
altho' they sell worse liquor than any other kind of hotels.
But the Salt Lake Hotel sells none--nor is there a bar in
all Salt Lake City--but I found when I was thirsty--and I
generally am--that I could get some very good brandy of one
of the Elders--on the sly--and I never on any account allow
my business to interfere with my drinking.

(Picture of) The Overland Mail Coach.--That is, the den on
wheels in which we have been crammed for the past ten days
and ten nights.--Those of you who have been in Newgate (The
manner in which Artemus uttered this joke was peculiarly
characteristic of his style of lecturing. The commencement
of the sentence was spoken as if unpremeditated; then when
he had got as far as the word "Newgate," he paused, as if
wishing to call back that which he had said. The applause
was unfailingly uproarious.)-------------------------------
----------------------------and stayed there any length of
time--as visitors--can realize how I felt.

The American Overland Mail Route commences at Sacramento--
California--and ends at Atchison--Kansas. The distance is
two thousand two hundred miles--but you go part of the way
by rail. The Pacific Railway is now completed from
Sacramento--California--to Fulsom--California--which only
leaves two thousand two hundred and eleven miles, to go by
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