The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 6: Artemus Ward's Panorama by Artemus Ward
page 26 of 58 (44%)
page 26 of 58 (44%)
|
Merry Wives of Windsor. How many wives did Mr. Windsor
have?--but we will let this pass. Some of these Mormons have terrific families. I lectured one night by invitation in the Mormon village of Provost, but during the day I rashly gave a leading Mormon an order admitting himself and family--it was before I knew that he was much married--and they filled the room to overflowing. It was a great success--but I didn't get any money. (Picture of) Heber C. Kimball's Harem.--Mr. C. Kimball is the first vice-president of the Mormon church--and would-- consequently--succeed to the full presidency on Brigham Young's death. Brother Kimball is a gay and festive cuss of some seventy summers--or some'ers thereabout. He has one thousand head of cattle and a hundred head of wives. (It is an authenticated fact that, in an address to his congregation in the Tabernacle, Heber C. Kimball once alluded to his wives by the endearing epithet of "my heifers;" and on another occasion politely spoke of them as "his cows." The phraseology may possibly be a slight indication of the refinement of manners prevalent in Salt Lake City.) He says they are awful eaters. Mr. Kimball had a son--a lovely young man--who was married to ten interesting wives. But one day--while he was absent from home--these ten wives went out walking with a handsome young man--which so enraged Mr. Kimball's son--which made |
|