I have allers sustained a good moral character. I was never a
Railroad director in my life.

Altho' in early life I did not inva'bly confine myself to truth in
my small bills, I have been gradoolly growin respectabler and
respectabler ev'ry year. I luv my children, and never mistake
another man's wife for my own. I'm not a member of any meetin house,
but firmly bel'eve in meetin houses, and shouldn't feel safe to take
a dose of laudnum and lay down in the street of a village that
hadn't any, with a thousand dollars in my vest pockets.

My temperament is billious, altho' I don't owe a dollar in the
world.

I am a early riser, but my wife is a Presbyterian. I may add that I
am also bald-heded. I keep two cows.

I live in Baldinsville, Indiany. My next door naber is Old Steve
Billins. I'll tell you a little story about Old Steve that will make
you larf. He jined the Church last spring, and the minister said,
"You must go home now, Brothern Billins, and erect a family altar in
your own house," whereupon the egrejis old ass went home and built a
reg'lar pulpit in his sittin room. He had the jiners in his house
over four days.

I am 56 (56) years of age. Time, with its relentless scythe, is
ever busy. The Old Sexton gathers them in, he gathers them in! I
keep a pig this year.