The Complete Works of Artemus Ward — Part 7: Miscellaneous by Artemus Ward
page 13 of 76 (17%)
page 13 of 76 (17%)
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was holdin up a post, seemed to be partic'ly drunk--so much so that
it had got into his spectacles, which were staggerin wildly over his nose. But I was in for it, and I commenced:-- "Feller Citizens,--For this onexpected honor--" LEADER OF THE BAND.--Will you give us our money now, or wait till you git through?" To this painful and disgustin interruption I paid no attention. "--for this onexpected honor, I thank you." LEADER OF THE BAND.--"But you said you'd give us seven dollars if we'd play two choons." Again I didn't notice him, but resumed as follows:-- "I say, I thank you warmly. When I look at this crowd of true Americans, my heart swells--" DR. SCHWAZEY.--"So do I!" A VOICE.--"We all do!" "--my heart swells--" A VOICE.--"Three cheers for the swells." "We live," said I, "in troublous times, but I hope we shall again |
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