liver?" sed I, pokin him putty vilent in the stummick.

I called on Abe. He received me kindly. I handed him my umbreller,
and told him I'd have a check for it if he pleased. "That," sed he,
"puts me in mind of a little story. There was a man, out in our
parts who was so mean that he took his wife's coffin out of the back
winder for fear he would rub the paint off the doorway. Wall, about
this time there was a man in a adjacent town who had a green cotton
umbreller."

"Did it fit him well? Was it custom made? Was he measured for it?"

"Measured for what?" said Abe.

"The umbreller?"

"Wall, as I was sayin," continnered the President, treatin the
interruption with apparent comtempt, "this man sed he'd known that
there umbreller ever since it was a pyrasol. Ha, ha, ha!"

"Yes," said I, larfin in a respectful manner, "but what has this man
with the umbreller to do with the man who took his wife's coffin out
of the back winder?"

"To be sure," said Abe--"what was it? I must have got two stories
mixed together, which puts me in mind of another lit--"

"Never mind, Your Excellency. I called to congratulate you on your
career, which has been a honest and a good one--unscared and unmoved
by Secesh in front of you and Abbolish at the back of you--each one