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Cambridge Pieces by Samuel Butler
page 40 of 65 (61%)
combine not the two, at least not in the same company, but let thy
religion be the same to the same men. Always, if thou be a careless
power, come in late to chapel and hurriedly; sit with the other
powers and converse with them on the behaviour of others or any
other light and agreeable topic. And, as I said above, under this
love of show thou must include the choice of thine acquaintance, and
as it is not possible for thee to order it so as not to have
knowledge of certain men whom it will not be convenient for thee to
know at all times and in all places, see thou cultivate those two
excellent defects of both sight and hearing which will enable thee
to pass one thou wouldst not meet, without seeing him or hearing his
salutation. If thou hast a cousin or schoolfellow who is somewhat
rustic or uncouth in his manner but nevertheless hath an excellent
heart, know him in private in thine individual capacity, but when
thou art abroad or in the company of other powers shun him as if he
were a venomous thing and deadly. Again, if thou sittest at table
with a man at the house of a friend and laughest and talkest with
him and playest pleasant, if he be not perfect in respect of
externals see thou pass him the next day without a smile, even
though he may have prepared his countenance for a thousand grins;
but if in the house of the same friend or another thou shouldst
happen to stumble upon him, deal with him as though thy previous
conversation had broken off but five minutes previously; but should
he be proud and have all nothing to say unto thee, forthwith
calumniate him to thine acquaintance as a sorry-spirited fellow and
mean.

And with regard to smoking, though that, too, is advantageous, it is
not necessary so much for the power as for the fast man, for the
power is a more calculating and thoughtful being than this one; but
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