if thou smokest, see that others know it; smoke cigars if thou canst
afford them; if not, say thou wonderest at such as do, for to thy
liking a pipe is better. And with regard to all men except thine
own favoured and pre-eminent clique, designate them as "cheerful,"
"lively," or use some other ironical term with regard to them. So
much then for the love of show.

And of the love of sound I would have thee observe that it is but a
portion of the love of show, but so necessary for him who would be
admired without being at the same time excellent and worthy of
admiration as to deserve a separate heading to itself. At meal-
times talk loudly, laugh loudly, condemn loudly; if thou sneezest
sneeze loudly; if thou call the waiter do so with a noise and, if
thou canst, while he is speaking to another and receiving orders
from him; it will be a convenient test of thine advance to see
whether he will at once quit the other in the midst of his speech
with him and come to thee, or will wait until the other hath done;
if thou handle it well he will come to thee at once. When others
are in their rooms, as thou passeth underneath their windows, sing
loudly and all men will know that a power goeth by and will hush
accordingly; if thou hast a good voice it will profit thee much, if
a bad one, care not so long as it be a loud one; but above all be it
remembered that it is to be loud at all times and not low when with
powers greater than thyself, for this damneth much--even powers
being susceptible of awe, when they shall behold one resolutely bent
to out-top them, and thinking it advisable to lend such an one a
helping hand lest he overthrow them--but if thy voice be not a loud
one, thou hadst better give up at once the hope of rising to a
height by thine own skill, but must cling to and flatter those who
have, and if thou dost this well thou wilt succeed.