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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752 by Earl of Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
page 35 of 118 (29%)
variety of little things affect the heart, and how surely they
collectively gain it? If you have, you have made some progress. I would
try a man's knowledge of the world, as I would a schoolboy's knowledge of
Horace: not by making him construe 'Maecenas atavis edite regibus', which
he could do in the first form; but by examining him as to the delicacy
and 'curiosa felicitas' of that poet. A man requires very little
knowledge and experience of the world, to understand glaring,
high-colored, and decided characters; they are but few, and they strike
at first: but to distinguish the almost imperceptible shades, and the
nice gradations of virtue and vice, sense and folly, strength and
weakness (of which characters are commonly composed), demands some
experience, great observation, and minute attention. In the same cases,
most people do the same things, but with this material difference, upon
which the success commonly turns: A man who hath studied the world knows
when to time, and where to place them; he hath analyzed the characters he
applies to, and adapted his address and his arguments to them: but a man,
of what is called plain good sense, who hath only reasoned by himself,
and not acted with mankind, mistimes, misplaces, runs precipitately and
bluntly at the mark, and falls upon his nose in the way. In the common
manners of social life, every man of common sense hath the rudiments, the
A B C of civility; he means not to offend, and even wishes to please:
and, if he hath any real merit, will be received and tolerated in good
company. But that is far from being enough; for, though he may be
received, he will never be desired; though he does not offend, he will
never be loved; but, like some little, insignificant, neutral power,
surrounded by great ones, he will neither be feared nor courted by any;
but, by turns, invaded by all, whenever it is their interest. A most
contemptible situation! Whereas, a man who hath carefully attended to,
and experienced, the various workings of the heart, and the artifices of
the head; and who, by one shade, can trace the progression of the whole
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