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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1753-54 by Earl of Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
page 10 of 61 (16%)
surprised and angry at whatever deviates from them. His theories are
good, but, unfortunately, are all impracticable. Why? because he has only
read and not conversed. He is acquainted with books, and an absolute
stranger to men. Laboring with his matter, he is delivered of it with
pangs; he hesitates, stops in his utterance, and always expresses himself
inelegantly. His actions are all ungraceful; so that, with all his merit
and knowledge, I would rather converse six hours with the most frivolous
tittle-tattle woman who knew something of the world, than with him. The
preposterous notions of a systematical man who does not know the world,
tire the patience of a man who does. It would be endless to correct his
mistakes, nor would he take it kindly: for he has considered everything
deliberately, and is very sure that he is in the right. Impropriety is a
characteristic, and a never-failing one, of these people. Regardless,
because ignorant, of customs and manners, they violate them every moment.
They often shock, though they never mean to offend: never attending
either to the general character, or the particular distinguishing
circumstances of the people to whom, or before whom they talk; whereas
the knowledge of the world teaches one, that the very same things which
are exceedingly right and proper in one company, time and place, are
exceedingly absurd in others. In short, a man who has great knowledge,
from experience and observation, of the characters, customs, and manners
of mankind, is a being as different from, and as superior to, a man of
mere book and systematical knowledge, as a well-managed horse is to an
ass. Study, therefore, cultivate, and frequent men and women; not only in
their outward, and consequently, guarded, but in their interior,
domestic, and consequently less disguised, characters and manners. Take
your notions of things, as by observation and experience you find they
really are, and not as you read that they are or should be; for they
never are quite what they should be. For this purpose do not content
yourself with general and common acquaintance; but wherever you can,
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