well-bred man seldom thinks, but never seems to think himself slighted,
undervalued, or laughed at in company, unless where it is so plainly
marked out, that his honor obliges him to resent it in a proper manner;
'mais les honnetes gens ne se boudent jamais'. I will admit that it is
very difficult to command one's self enough, to behave with ease,
frankness, and good-breeding toward those, who one knows dislike, slight,
and injure one, as far as they can, without personal consequences; but I
assert that it is absolutely necessary to do it: you must embrace the man
you hate, if you cannot be justified in knocking him down; for otherwise
you avow the injury which you cannot revenge. A prudent cuckold (and
there are many such at Paris) pockets his horns when he cannot gore with
them; and will not add to the triumph of his maker by only butting with
them ineffectually. A seeming ignorance is very often a most necessary
part of worldly knowledge. It is, for instance, commonly advisable to
seem ignorant of what people offer to tell you; and when they say, Have
you not heard of such a thing? to answer No, and to let them go on;
though you know it already. Some have a pleasure in telling it, because
they think that they tell it well; others have a pride in it, as being
the sagacious discoverers; and many have a vanity in showing that they
have been, though very undeservedly, trusted; all these would be
disappointed, and consequently displeased, if you said Yes. Seem always
ignorant (unless to one's most intimate friend) of all matters of private
scandal and defamation, though you should hear them a thousand times; for
the parties affected always look upon the receiver to be almost as bad as
the thief: and, whenever they become the topic of conversation seem to be
a skeptic, though you are really a serious believer; and always take the
extenuating part. But all this seeming ignorance should be joined to
thorough and extensive private informations: and, indeed, it is the best
method of procuring them; for most people have such a vanity in showing a
superiority over others, though but for a moment, and in the merest