THE CLERK. I have volunteered.

AUGUSTUS. Then why are you not in uniform?

THE CLERK. They said they wouldn't have me if I was given away
with a pound of tea. Told me to go home and not be an old silly.
[A sense of unbearable wrong, till now only smouldering in him,
bursts into flame.] Young Bill Knight, that I took with me, got
two and sevenpence. I got nothing. Is it justice? This country is
going to the dogs, if you ask me.

AUGUSTUS [rising indignantly]. I do not ask you, sir; and I will
not allow you to say such things in my presence. Our statesmen
are the greatest known to history. Our generals are invincible.
Our army is the admiration of the world. [Furiously.] How dare
you tell me that the country is going to the dogs!

THE CLERK. Why did they give young Bill Knight two and
sevenpence, and not give me even my tram fare? Do you call that
being great statesmen? As good as robbing me, I call it.

AUGUSTUS. That's enough. Leave the room. [He sits down and takes
up his pen, settling himself to work. The clerk shuffles to the
door. Augustus adds, with cold politeness] Send me the Secretary.

THE CLERK. I'M the Secretary. I can't leave the room and send
myself to you at the same time, can I?

AUGUSTUS, Don't be insolent. Where is the gentleman I have been