THE CLERK. I don't mean to insinuate anything until the Defence
of the Realm Act is repealed. It ain't safe.

AUGUSTUS. They told me that this town had set an example to all
England in the matter of economy. I came down here to promise the
Mayor a knighthood for his exertions.

THE CLERK. The Mayor! Where do I come in?

AUGUSTUS. You don't come in. You go out. This is a fool of a
place. I'm greatly disappointed. Deeply disappointed. [Flinging
himself back into his chair.] Disgusted.

THE CLERK. What more can we do? We've shut up everything. The
picture gallery is shut. The museum is shut. The theatres and
picture shows is shut: I haven't seen a movie picture for six
months.

AUGUSTUS. Man, man: do you want to see picture shows when the Hun
is at the gate?

THE CLERK [mournfully]. I don't now, though it drove me
melancholy mad at first. I was on the point of taking a pennorth
of rat poison--

AUGUSTUS. Why didn't you?

THE CLERK. Because a friend advised me to take to drink instead.
That saved my life, though it makes me very poor company in the