your own silence, no one is to know of your benefit. So far from
doing this, even if any one tells the story in our presence, we
ought to make answer, "He does indeed deserve much more than this,
and I am aware that I have not hitherto done any great things for
him, although I wish to do so." This should not be said jokingly,
nor yet with that air by which some persons repel those whom they
especially wish to attract. In addition to this, we ought to act
with the greatest politeness towards such persons. If the farmer
ceases his labours after he has put in the seed, he will lose what
he has sown; it is only by great pains that seeds are brought to
yield a crop; no plant will bear fruit unless it be tended with
equal care from first to last, and the same rule is true of
benefits. Can any benefits be greater than those which children
receive from their parents? Yet these benefits are useless if they
be deserted while young, if the pious care of the parents does not
for a long time watch over the gift which they have bestowed. So it
is with other benefits; unless you help them, you will lose them;
to give is not enough, you must foster what you have given. If you
wish those whom you lay under an obligation to be grateful to you,
you must not merely confer benefits upon them, but you must also
love them. Above all, as I said before, spare their ears; you will
weary them if you remind them of your goodness, if you reproach
them with it you will make them hate you. Pride ought above all
things to be avoided when you confer a benefit. What need have you
for disdainful airs, or swelling phrases? the act itself will exalt
you. Let us shun vain boasting: let us be silent, and let our deeds
speak for us. A benefit conferred with haughtiness not only wins no
gratitude, but causes dislike.

XII. Gaius Caesar granted Pompeius Pennus his life, that is, if not