will blame, and deservedly; when he comes to his right mind, when
the frenzy which now excites him has left him, how can he help
hating the man who has assisted him to harm and to endanger
himself? It is a cruel kindness to allow one's self to be won over
into granting that which injures those who beg for it. Just as it
is the noblest of acts to save men from harm against their will, so
it is but hatred, under the mask of civility, to grant what is
harmful to those who ask for it. Let us confer benefits of such a
kind, that the more they are made use of the better they please,
and which never can turn into injuries. I never will give money to
a man if I know that he will pay it to an adulteress, nor will I be
found in connexion with any wicked act or plan; if possible, I will
restrain men from crime; if not, at least I will never assist them
in it. Whether my friend be driven into doing wrong by anger, or
seduced from the path of safety by the heat of ambition, he shall
never gain the means of doing mischief except from himself, nor
will I enable him one day to say, "He ruined me out of love for
me." Our friends often give us what our enemies wish us to receive;
we are driven by the unseasonable fondness of the former into the
ruin which the latter hope will befall us. Yet, often as it is the
case, what can be more shameful than that there should be no
difference between a benefit and hatred?

XV. Let us never bestow gifts which may recoil upon us to our
shame. As the sum total of friendship consists in making our
friends equal to ourselves, we ought to consider the interests of
both parties; I must give to him that wants, yet so that I do not
want myself; I must help him who is perishing, yet so that I do not
perish myself, unless by so doing I can save a great man or a great
cause. I must give no benefit which it would disgrace me to ask