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Love Among the Chickens by P. G. (Pelham Grenville) Wodehouse
page 49 of 220 (22%)
cannot plunge in through hedges without inviting comment.

Unfortunately, speech was beyond me. I could have emptied a water-
butt, laid down and gone to sleep, or melted ice with a touch of the
finger, but I could not speak. The conversation was opened by the
other man, in whose restraining hand Aunt Elizabeth now lay, outwardly
resigned but inwardly, as I, who knew her haughty spirit, could guess,
boiling with baffled resentment. I could see her looking out of the
corner of her eye, trying to estimate the chances of getting in one
good hard peck with her aquiline beak.

"Come right in," said the man pleasantly. "Don't knock."

I stood there, gasping. I was only too well aware that I presented a
quaint appearance. I had removed my hat before entering the hedge, and
my hair was full of twigs and other foreign substances. My face was
moist and grimy. My mouth hung open. My legs felt as if they had
ceased to belong to me.

"I must apol- . . ." I began, and ended the sentence with gulps.

The elderly gentleman looked at me with what seemed to be indignant
surprise. His daughter appeared to my guilty conscience to be looking
through me. Aunt Elizabeth sneered. The only friendly face was the
man's. He regarded me with a kindly smile, as if I were some old
friend who had dropped in unexpectedly.

"Take a long breath," he advised.

I took several, and felt better.
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