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Love Among the Chickens by P. G. (Pelham Grenville) Wodehouse
page 50 of 220 (22%)

"I must apologise for this intrusion," I said successfully.
"Unwarrantable" would have rounded off the sentence neatly, but I
would not risk it. It would have been mere bravado to attempt
unnecessary words of five syllables. I took in more breath. "The fact
is, I did--didn't know there was a private garden beyond the hedge. If
you will give me my hen . . ."

I stopped. Aunt Elizabeth was looking away, as if endeavouring to
create an impression of having nothing to do with me. I am told by one
who knows that hens cannot raise their eyebrows, not having any; but I
am prepared to swear that at this moment Aunt Elizabeth raised hers. I
will go further. She sniffed.

"Here you are," said the man. "Though it's hard to say good-bye."

He held out the hen to me, and at this point a hitch occurred. He did
his part, the letting go, all right. It was in my department, the
taking hold, that the thing was bungled. Aunt Elizabeth slipped from
my grasp like an eel, stood for a moment eyeing me satirically with
her head on one side, then fled and entrenched herself in some bushes
at the end of the lawn.

There are times when the most resolute man feels that he can battle no
longer with fate; when everything seems against him and the only
course is a dignified retreat. But there is one thing essential to a
dignified retreat. You must know the way out. It was the lack of that
knowledge that kept me standing there, looking more foolish than
anyone has ever looked since the world began. I could not retire by
way of the hedge. If I could have leaped the hedge with a single
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