understand that my happiness need not suffer any decrease from the good
fortune of this new favorite.

Never did the purity, truth and force of my attachment to her appear more
evident; never did I feel the sincerity and honesty of my soul more
forcibly, than at that moment. I threw myself at her feet, embracing her
knees with torrents of tears. "No, madam," replied I, with the most
violent agitation, "I love you too much to disgrace you thus far, and too
truly to share you; the regret that accompanied the first acquisition of
your favors has continued to increase with my affection. I cannot
preserve them by so violent an augmentation of it. You shall ever have
my adoration: be worthy of it; to me that is more necessary than all you
can bestow. It is to you, O my dearest friend! that I resign my rights;
it is to the union of our hearts that I sacrifice my pleasure; rather
would I perish a thousand times than thus degrade her I love."

I preserved this resolution with a constancy worthy, I may say, of the
sentiment that gave it birth. From this moment I saw this beloved woman
but with the eyes of a real son. It should be remarked here, that this
resolve did not meet her private approbation, as I too well perceived;
yet she never employed the least art to make me renounce it either by
insinuating proposals, caresses, or any of those means which women so
well know how to employ without exposing themselves to violent censure,
and which seldom fail to succeed. Reduced to seek a fate independent of
hers, and not able to devise one, I passed to the other extreme, placing
my happiness so absolutely in her, that I became almost regardless of
myself. The ardent desire to see her happy, at any rate, absorbed all my
affections; it was in vain she endeavored to separate her felicity from
mine, I felt I had a part in it, spite of every impediment.