my head and heart full of thoughts between hope and fear and doubts what
will become of us and me particularly against a furious Parliament. Then
broke up and to bed, and there slept pretty well till about four o'clock,
and from that time could not, but my thoughts running on speeches to the
Parliament to excuse myself from the blame which by other men's negligence
will 'light, it may be, upon the office. This day I did get a list of the
fourteen particular miscarriages which are already before the Committee to
be examined; wherein, besides two or three that will concern this Office
much, there are those of the prizes, and that of Bergen, and not following
the Dutch ships, against my Lord Sandwich; that, I fear, will ruine him,
unless he hath very good luck, or they may be in better temper before he
can come to be charged: but my heart is full of fear for him and his
family. I hear that they do prosecute the business against my Lord Chief
Justice Keeling with great severity.

22nd. Slept but ill all the last part of the night, for fear of this
day's success in Parliament: therefore up, and all of us all the morning
close, till almost two o'clock, collecting all we had to say and had done
from the beginning, touching the safety of the River Medway and Chatham.
And, having done this, and put it into order, we away, I not having time
to eat my dinner; and so all in my Lord Bruncker's coach, that is to say,
Bruncker, W. Pen, T. Harvy, and myself, talking of the other great matter
with which they charge us, that is, of discharging men by ticket, in order
to our defence in case that should be asked. We come to the
Parliament-door, and there, after a little waiting till the Committee was
sat, we were, the House being very full, called in: Sir W. Pen went in and
sat as a Member; and my Lord Bruncker would not at first go in, expecting
to have a chair set for him, and his brother had bid him not go in, till
he was called for; but, after a few words, I had occasion to mention him,
and so he was called in, but without any more chair or respect paid him