liquids in which bubbles and gases rise to the top be, and hereby
are, confiscated, eradicated and removed from the surface of the
soil. And all the laws of Nature inconsistent with the principle
of this Act be and hereby are repealed and rendered null and
inconclusive.

IT IS HOPED that this suspension of relations with Nature will
operate as a sharp rebuke, and bring her to reason. It is not the
sense of this Act to withhold from the Enemy all hope of a future
reconciliation, should she cast off the habits that have made her
a menace. We have no quarrel with Nature as a whole. But there is
a certain misguided clique, the dandelions and gooseberries and
other irresponsible plants, which must be humiliated. We do not
presume to suggest to Nature any alteration or modification of her
necessary institutions. But who can claim that the principle of
fermentation, which she has arrogated to herself, is necessary to
her health and happiness? This Intolerable Thing, of which Nature
has shown us the ugly mug, this menace of combined intrigue and
force, must be crushed, with proud punctilio.

AND FOR THE strict enforcement of this Act, the Pan-Antis are
authorized and empowered to organize expeditionary forces, by
recruitment or (if necessary) by conscription and draft, to
proceed into the territory of the enemy, lay waste and ravage all
dandelions, gooseberries and other unlawful plants. Until this is
accomplished Nature shall be and hereby is declared a barred zone,
in which civilians and non-combatants pass at their own peril; and
all citizens not serving with the expeditionary forces shall
remain within city and village limits until the territory of
Nature is made safe for sobriety.