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Nonsense Novels by Stephen Leacock
page 68 of 150 (45%)
was indicted on five charges--arson, for having burned the
steel cage of the elevator; misdemeanour, for shooting the
footman; the theft of the money, petty larceny; the killing of
the philanthropist, infanticide; and the shooting at the police
without hitting them, aggravated felony.

The proceedings were very complicated--expert evidence was
taken from all over the United States. An analytical
examination was made of the brain of the philanthropist.
Nothing was found.

The entire jury were dismissed three times on the grounds of
prejudice, twice on the ground of ignorance, and finally
disbanded on the ground of insanity.

The proceedings dragged on.

Meanwhile Hezekiah's business interests accumulated.

At length, at Hezekiah's own suggestion, it was necessary
to abandon the case.

"Gentlemen," he said, in his final speech to the court, "I
feel that I owe an apology for not being able to attend these
proceedings any further. At any time, when I can snatch an
hour or two from my business, you may always count on my
attendance. In the meantime, rest assured that I shall
follow your proceedings with the greatest interest."

He left the room amid three cheers and the singing of "Auld
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