Nonsense Novels by Stephen Leacock
page 68 of 150 (45%)
page 68 of 150 (45%)
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was indicted on five charges--arson, for having burned the
steel cage of the elevator; misdemeanour, for shooting the footman; the theft of the money, petty larceny; the killing of the philanthropist, infanticide; and the shooting at the police without hitting them, aggravated felony. The proceedings were very complicated--expert evidence was taken from all over the United States. An analytical examination was made of the brain of the philanthropist. Nothing was found. The entire jury were dismissed three times on the grounds of prejudice, twice on the ground of ignorance, and finally disbanded on the ground of insanity. The proceedings dragged on. Meanwhile Hezekiah's business interests accumulated. At length, at Hezekiah's own suggestion, it was necessary to abandon the case. "Gentlemen," he said, in his final speech to the court, "I feel that I owe an apology for not being able to attend these proceedings any further. At any time, when I can snatch an hour or two from my business, you may always count on my attendance. In the meantime, rest assured that I shall follow your proceedings with the greatest interest." He left the room amid three cheers and the singing of "Auld |
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