iver he did, an' th' night editions iv th' pa-apers comes out
arlier ivry mornin'. All is rush an' worry. Kings an' imprors
duck about their jooties like bell-hops, th' pampered son iv luxury
at Newport is thryin' f'r a mile a minyit in his autymobill an'
th' on'y leisure class left in th' wurruld is th' judicyary. Mind
ye, Hinnissy, I'm not sayin' annything again' thim. I won't dhrag
th' joodicyal ermine in th' mud though I haven't noticed that manny
iv thim lift it immodestly whin they takes th' pollytical crossing.
I have th' high rayspict f'r th' job that's th' alternative iv
sixty days in jail. Besides, me boy, I invy thim.

"Somewhere a la-ad hits somewan on th' head with an axe or sinds
him a bunch iv proosic acid done up to look like candy. Maybe he
does an' maybe he don't; but annyhow that's what he's lagged f'r.
Th' polis are in a hurry to get to th' pool-room befure th' flag
falls in th' first race an' they carry th' case to th' gran' jury;
th' gran' jury indicts him without a thought or a suspicion iv ax
har-rd feelin', th' judge takes his breakfast on th' bench to be
there in time an' charges th' jury to be fair but not to f'rget
th' man done it, an' th' jury rayturns a verdict iv guilty with
three cheers an' a tiger. Th' pris'ner has hardly time to grab
up his hat befure he 's hauled off to his funeral obsequies, an'
th' onprejudiced public feels happy about it. I don't believe in
capital punishmint, Hinnissy, but 'twill niver be abolished while
th' people injye it so much. They 're jus' squarin' thimsilves
f'r th' rayvoltin' details whin wurrud comes that Judge Tamarack
iv Opolis has granted a stay iv proceedin's. Stays iv pro-ceedin's
is devices, Hinnissy, be which th' high coorts keep in form. 'Tis
a lagal joke. I med it up. Says Judge Tamarack: 'I know very
little about this ease excipt what I've been tol' be th' larned