on it. Manny a man I've knowed has so doped himsilf with books
that he'd stumble over a carpet-tack.

"Am I again' all books, says ye? I'm not. If I had money, I'd
have all th' good lithrachoor iv th' wurruld on me table at this
minyit. I mightn't read it, but there it'd be so that anny iv me
frinds cud dhrop in an' help thimsilves if they didn't care f'r
other stimylants. I have no taste f'r readin', but I won't deny
it's a good thing f'r thim that's addicted to it. In modheration,
mind ye. In modheration, an' afther th' chores is done. F'r as
a frind iv Hogan's says, 'Much readin' makes a full man,' an' he
knew what he was talkin' about. An' do I object to th' pursuit
iv lithrachoor? Oh, faith, no. As a pursuit 'tis fine, but it may
be bad f'r anny wan that catches it."




The Law's Delays



"If I had me job to pick out," said Mr. Dooley, "I'd be a judge.
I've looked over all th' others an' that's th' on'y wan that suits.
I have th' judicyal timperamint. I hate wurruk.

"Ivrybody else is pushed an' hurrid in this tumulchuse age. Th'
business man has to get to th' bank befure it closes an' th' banker
has to get there befure th' business man escapes, an' th' high-priced
actor has to kill off more gradyates iv th' school iv actin' thin