say, that to my eyes and fingers, and teeth and nose, it seems to be
nothing but a crust of bread." Upon which the second put in his
word. "I never saw a piece of mutton in my life so nearly
resembling a slice from a twelve-penny loaf." "Look ye, gentlemen,"
cries Peter in a rage, "to convince you what a couple of blind,
positive, ignorant, wilful puppies you are, I will use but this
plain argument; by G---, it is true, good, natural mutton as any in
Leadenhall Market; and G--- confound you both eternally if you offer
to believe otherwise." Such a thundering proof as this left no
further room for objection; the two unbelievers began to gather and
pocket up their mistake as hastily as they could. "Why, truly,"
said the first, "upon more mature consideration"--"Ay," says the
other, interrupting him, "now I have thought better on the thing,
your Lordship seems to have a great deal of reason." "Very well,"
said Peter. "Here, boy, fill me a beer-glass of claret. Here's to
you both with all my heart." The two brethren, much delighted to
see him so readily appeased, returned their most humble thanks, and
said they would be glad to pledge his Lordship. "That you shall,"
said Peter, "I am not a person to refuse you anything that is
reasonable; wine moderately taken is a cordial. Here is a glass
apiece for you; it is true natural juice from the grape; none of
your damned vintner's brewings." Having spoke thus, he presented to
each of them another large dry crust, bidding them drink it off, and
not be bashful, for it would do them no hurt. The two brothers,
after having performed the usual office in such delicate
conjunctures, of staring a sufficient period at Lord Peter and each
other, and finding how matters were like to go, resolved not to
enter on a new dispute, but let him carry the point as he pleased;
for he was now got into one of his mad fits, and to argue or
expostulate further would only serve to render him a hundred times