"'O'Brien came to this country and looked around for work. He
couldn't get a job until at last a friend told him that a farmer
up in the country wanted a man to milk cows. So O'Brien got on a
trolley car and went out to the end of the line, took a side-door
pullman from there, was ditched and had to walk the rest of the
way to the farm. But at last he got to the farmer's place and
asked him for the job.

"'"Sure I can use you," said the farmer, "here's a milk pail and
a milking-stool. Take 'em and go out and milk the cows in the
barn."

"'Now O'Brien didn't know how to milk a cow, he'd never milked a
cow in his whole life, but he needed a job so he didn't tell the
farmer he hadn't ever milked a cow. He took the pail and the
milking-stool and went out to the barn. After half an hour he
came back to the farm house all cut-up, and he had one leg of the
milking-stool in his hand.

"'"What's the matter?" asked the farmer, "How'd you get all cut
up--been in a fight or something?"

"'"No," said O'Brien, "I couldn't get the cow to sit on it.'"

"See the difference? There's only one right way to tell any gag
and that's to make it brief, little--like the works of a watch
that'll fit in a thin watch case and be better and finer than a
big turnip of a pocket clock."

So, then, each point and gag in a monologue is told in the fewest,