times--and has been proved a success by actual test. Arranging a
routine of untried points and gags on paper is like trying to solve
a cut-out puzzle with the key-piece missing. Only by actually
trying out a monologue before an audience and fitting the points
and gags to suit the monologist's peculiar style (indeed, this is
the real work of writing a monologue and will be described later
on) can you determine what really is the best routine. And even
then another arrangement may "go" better in another town. Still
there are a few suggestions--a very few--that can be given here
to aid the beginner.

Like ocean waves, monologic laughs should come in threes and
nines--proved, like most rules, by exceptions. Note the application
of this rule in "The German Senator."

Study the arrangement of the points in this great monologue and
you will see that each really big point is dependent on several
minor points that precede it to get its own big laugh. For instance,
take the following point:

And if meat goes any higher, it will be worth more than money.

Then there won't be any money.

Instead of carrying money in your pocket, you'll carry meat
around.

A sirloin steak will be worth a thousand dollar bill.

When you go down to the bank to make a deposit, instead of giving