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The Fool Errant by Maurice Hewlett
page 67 of 358 (18%)
placed. I am a gentleman who has behaved himself like a ruffian, a
Christian who has stultified his religion. I love a certain lady and
have insulted her; I was placed in a sacred relationship and betrayed
it. Still a lover, still a postulant for service, I have three objects
in life: (a) to bite and burn the vice out of myself; (b) to find my
mistress; (c) to make her amends. Whatever occupation you propose for my
consideration must subserve these three great ends."

Issachar listened with attention, and remained for some time after I had
finished speaking lost in thought. Then he said, "I see that yours is no
common case. Honour, Religion, and Love make a strong partnership and
hard taskmasters to a young journeyman. Perhaps I am too little of a
casuist to maintain that the lady will not be gratified by your efforts
to gain her esteem. My experiences have been few, and I am no lady's
man, but I own I should have thought that she would have preferred a
more dashing return to her feet--something on horseback, say, with a
hand on your thigh and a kiss of the finger-tips. Ha! you might say, ha!
fair enchantress, do we meet again? A nonchalant mien! I believe few
ladies can resist it. But it is not for me to say. I am, however,
convinced of one thing, which is that if you stray about the country at
random, proclaiming in a resolute voice that you are a criminal, in a
very short time you will be taken at your word and clapped into gaol--
there or in a madhouse. Either will be uncomfortable--but in neither
will you meet your lady. Of that I am positive." He grew warm, he grew
declamatory. "Why, this is extraordinary!" he cried. "Why, sir, how will
you get out of this State and into another without a passport? How will
you live when you have spent your money? How can you approach your lady,
or anybody's lady, without a coat on your back or a quattrino in your
pocket? I am ashamed to put you questions so elementary, but if you can
answer one of them I shall have done with them."
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