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Love's Pilgrimage by Upton Sinclair
page 119 of 680 (17%)
that you are making my task harder than yours.

Do you know, I have actually found myself asking, at times, with a
certain defiant rage--if you were actually going to give love to
your princess before you had made her suffer! So far you have not
made her suffer at all. I had become quite excited over this idea
--though perhaps I had no right to. I suppose it is all right,
because she is an imaginary person, and you can endow her with all
the perfections you please. She is triumphant and thrilling, and
worthy of love--whereas I am just little Corydon, whom you have
known all your life, and who is stupid and helpless, and impossible
to imagine romances about! Is that the way of it?

XVII

MY DEAREST THYRSIS:

A long letter has just come to me. I always receive your letters
with many palpitations, and by the time I get through reading, my
cheeks are flaming. It is too bad it takes letters so long to go to
and fro.

I have finally come to bear the attitude towards myself, that I
would to a naughty child. I will have no nonsense, and all my
absurdities and inefficiencies _must_ be cured. I think I have come
to know myself a little better within the last few days. I know that
I have no right to quick victories, or any happiness at all, even
your love. I tell you truly, if it were only possible, I would go
away this minute--do you hear?--oh! to some lonely place, and then I
would do something with myself. I want to be alone, alone--I want to
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