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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 10 of 184 (05%)
to send for the blacksmith to-day, but now it's out of the question:
NOW it must bang of nights, since you've thrown away five pounds.

"Ha! there's the soot falling down the chimney. If I hate the smell
of anything, it's the smell of soot. And you know it; but what are
my feelings to you? SWEEP THE CHIMNEY! Yes, it's all very fine to
say sweep the chimney--but how are chimneys to be swept--how are they
to be paid for by people who don't take care of their five pounds?

"Do you hear the mice running about the room? I hear them. If they
were to drag only you out of bed, it would be no matter. SET A TRAP
FOR THEM! Yes, it's easy enough to say--set a trap for 'em. But how
are people to afford mouse-traps, when every day they lose five
pounds?

"Hark! I'm sure there's a noise downstairs. It wouldn't at all
surprise me if there were thieves in the house. Well, it MAY be the
cat; but thieves are pretty sure to come in some night. There's a
wretched fastening to the back-door; but these are not times to
afford bolts and bars, when people won't take care of their five
pounds.

"Mary Anne ought to have gone to the dentist's to-morrow. She wants
three teeth taken out. Now, it can't be done. Three teeth that
quite disfigure the child's mouth. But there they must stop, and
spoil the sweetest face that was ever made. Otherwise, she'd have
been a wife for a lord. Now, when she grows up, who'll have her?
Nobody. We shall die, and leave her alone and unprotected in the
world. But what do you care for that? Nothing; so you can squander
away five pounds."
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