"And thus," comments Caudle, "according to my wife, she--dear soul!--
couldn't have a satin gown--the girls couldn't have new bonnets--the
water-rate must stand over--Jack must get his death through a broken
window--our fire-insurance couldn't be paid, so that we should all
fall victims to the devouring element--we couldn't go to Margate, and
Caroline would go to an early grave--the dog would come home and bite
us all mad--the shutter would go banging for ever--the soot would
always fall--the mice never let us have a wink of sleep--thieves be
always breaking in the house--our dear Mary Anne be for ever left an
unprotected maid,--and with other evils falling upon us, all, all
because I would go on lending five pounds!"



LECTURE II--MR. CAUDLE HAS BEEN AT A TAVERN WITH A FRIEND, AND IS
"ENOUGH TO POISON A WOMAN" WITH TOBACCO-SMOKE



"Poor me! Ha! I'm sure I don't know who'd be a poor woman! I don't
know who'd tie themselves up to a man, if they knew only half they'd
have to bear. A wife must stay at home, and be a drudge, whilst a
man can go anywhere. It's enough for a wife to sit like Cinderella
by the ashes, whilst her husband can go drinking and singing at a
tavern. YOU NEVER SING? How do I know you never sing? It's very
well for you to say so; but if I could hear you, I daresay you're
among the worst of 'em.