themselves out at home. A nice headache you'll have to-morrow
morning--or rather THIS morning; for it must be past twelve. YOU
WON'T HAVE A HEADACHE? It's very well for you to say so, but I know
you will; and then you may nurse yourself for me. Ha! that filthy
tobacco again! No; I shall not go to sleep like a good soul. How's
people to go to sleep when they're suffocated?

"Yes, Mr. Caudle, you'll be nice and ill in the morning! But don't
you think I'm going to let you have your breakfast in bed, like Mrs.
Prettyman. I'll not be such a fool. No; nor I won't have discredit
brought upon the house by sending for soda-water early, for all the
neighbourhood to say, 'Caudle was drunk last night.' No: I've some
regard for the dear children, if you haven't. No: nor you shan't
have broth for dinner. Not a neck of mutton crosses my threshold, I
can tell you.

"YOU WON'T WANT SODA, AND YOU WON'T WANT BROTH? All the better. You
wouldn't get 'em if you did, I can assure you.--Dear, dear, dear!
That filthy tobacco! I'm sure it's enough to make me as bad as you
are. Talking about getting divorced,--I'm sure tobacco ought to be
good grounds. How little does a woman think, when she marries, that
she gives herself up to be poisoned! You men contrive to have it all
of your own side, you do. Now if I was to go and leave you and the
children, a pretty noise there'd be! You, however, can go and smoke
no end of pipes and--YOU DIDN'T SMOKE? It's all the same, Mr.
Caudle, if you go among smoking people. Folks are known by their
company. You'd better smoke yourself, than bring home the pipes of
all the world.

"Yes, I see how it will be. Now you've once gone to a tavern, you'll