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Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures by Douglas William Jerrold
page 134 of 184 (72%)
Prettyman? Silk stockings become her!

"YOU WISH MISS PRETTYMAN WAS IN THE MOON?

"Not you, Mr. Caudle; that's only your art--your hypocrisy. A nice
person too she'd be for the moon: it would be none the brighter for
her being in it, I know. And when you saw the Custom House officers
look at me, as though they were piercing me through, what was your
conduct? Shameful. You twittered about and fidgeted, and flushed up
as if I really WAS a smuggler.

"SO I WAS?

"What had that to do with it? It wasn't the part of a husband, I
think, to fidget in that way, and show it.

"YOU COULDN'T HELP IT?

"Humph! And you call yourself a person of strong mind, I believe?
One of the lords of the creation! Ha! ha! couldn't help it!

"But I may do all I can to save the money, and this is always my
reward. Yes, Mr. Caudle; I shall save a great deal.

"HOW MUCH?

"I sha'n't tell you: I know your meanness--you'd want to stop it out
of the house allowance. No: it's nothing to you where I got the
money from to buy so many things. The money was my own. Well, and
if it was yours first, that's nothing to do with it. No; I haven't
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