LECTURE XVII--CAUDLE IN THE COURSE OF THE DAY HAS VENTURED TO
QUESTION THE ECONOMY OF "WASHING AT HOME."



"Pooh! A pretty temper you come to bed in, Mr. Caudle, I can see!
Oh, don't deny it--I think I ought to know by this time. But it's
always the way; whenever I get up a few things, the house can hardly
hold you! Nobody cries out more about clean linen than you do--and
nobody leads a poor woman so miserable a life when she tries to make
her husband comfortable. Yes, Mr. Caudle--comfortable! You needn't
keep chewing the word, as if you couldn't swallow it.

"WAS THERE EVER SUCH A WOMAN?

"No, Caudle; I hope not: I should hope no other wife was ever put
upon as I am! It's all very well for you. I can't have a little
wash at home like anybody else but you must go about the house
swearing to yourself, and looking at your wife as if she was your
bitterest enemy. But I suppose you'd rather we didn't wash at all.
Yes; then you'd be happy! To be sure you would--you'd like to have
all the children in their dirt, like potatoes: anything, so that it
didn't disturb you. I wish you'd had a wife who never washed--SHE'D
have suited you, she would. Yes; a fine lady who'd have let your
children go that you might have scraped 'em. She'd have been much
better cared for than I am. I only wish I could let all of you go
without clean linen at all--yes, all of you. I wish I could! And if
I wasn't a slave to my family, unlike anybody else, I should.