"No, Mr. Caudle; the house isn't tossed about in water as if it was
Noah's Ark. And you ought to be ashamed of yourself to talk of
Noah's Ark in that loose manner. I'm sure I don't know what I've
done to be married to a man of such principles. No: and the whole
house DOESN'T taste of soap-suds either; and if it did, any other man
but yourself would be above naming it. I suppose I don't like
washing-day any more than yourself. What do you say?

"YES, I DO?

"Ha! you're wrong there, Mr. Caudle. No; I don't like it because it
makes everybody else uncomfortable. No; and I ought not to have been
born a mermaid, that I might always have been in water. A mermaid,
indeed! What next will you call me? But no man, Mr. Caudle, says
such things to his wife as you. However, as I've said before, it
can't last long, that's one comfort. What do you say?

"YOU'RE GLAD OF IT?

"You're a brute, Mr. Caudle! No, you DIDN'T mean washing: I know
what you mean. A pretty speech to a woman who's been the wife to you
I have! You'll repent it when it's too late: yes, I wouldn't have
your feelings when I'm gone, Caudle; no, not for the Bank of England.

"And when we only wash once a fortnight! Ha! I only wish you had
some wives, they'd wash once a week! Besides, if once a fortnight's
too much for you, why don't you give me money that we may have things
to go a month? Is it MY fault if we're short? What do you say?

"MY 'ONCE A FORTNIGHT' LASTS THREE DAYS?