talker was not more than 22 or 23 years old, but the immense
experience he had passed through was more than wonderful, and the old
chestnuts he got off as having happened to himself were beyond Eli
Perkins' power of adaptation.

"I had a customer in Peoria," I heard him say, "who picked up a goat
shoe and said 'he supposed dat was apout tree sefenty-fife.' I told
him it was $5.25. 'O, tear, tear,' said he, 'can't you make him four
tollar? Shake dells me: Fader, ton't you puy ofer four tollar. You
should see my Shake; he is only dwendy-dwo, but he got a young head on
old shoulters.' I told him that, seeing it was he, I would make the
price $5, and he ordered twenty-four pairs."

He told this as if it was the most comical story ever heard, and he
laughed both long and loud over it, as did his two friends.

"When are you going home?" one asked him.

"Next week; been out over two months; had a big trip, but I don't
expect to do any more traveling."

"No! Why not?"

"I'm going to be married."

"No! Who to? Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes, I am; honest; going to marry the boss's daughter. She and I used
to go to school together, and I honestly believe she made the advances
to me, rather than I to her. Oh, yes; I'm all fixed; going to stay in