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More Pages from a Journal by Mark Rutherford
page 59 of 224 (26%)
something behind her affection for him and above it. He was moodily
jealous, and it was unendurable that he should be supplanted by an
intruder who would hear secrets which were not entrusted to a
parent. There was still some hope. He did not know how far she had
gone; and he resolved to speak to her. One morning, as soon as
breakfast was over, he proposed an excursion; he could talk more
freely in the open air. After a few minutes' indifferent
conversation he asked her abruptly if she was a Roman Catholic.

'I cannot say.'

'Cannot say! Do you still belong to our church?'

'Father, do not question me.'

'Ah! I see what has happened; it is lawful to hide from me, to
prevaricate and perhaps'--he checked himself. 'You know that ever
since you have grown up I have hidden nothing from you. I have told
you everything about my own affairs: I have asked your counsel, for
I am old, and the wisdom of an old man is often folly. You have
also told me everything: you have opened your heart to me. Think
of what you have said to me: I have been mother and father to you.
The trouble to me is not merely that you believe in
transubstantiation and I do not, but that there is something in you
which you reserve for a stranger. What has come to you?--for God's
sake keep close to me for the few remaining years or months of my
life. Have you reflected on the absurdities of Romanism? Is it
possible that my Kate should kneel at the feet of an ignorant
priest!'

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