and thus obtain a small share in it--and such was my intention, and I
looked forward to bright prospects and the hope of one day being
married to your mother, and I have no doubt but such would have been
the case, had I still conducted myself properly. But, before I was of
age, I made some very bad acquaintances, and soon ran into expenses
which I could not afford--and the worst was, that I contracted a
habit of sitting up late at night, and drinking to excess, which I
never have since got over, which proved my ruin then, and has proved
my ruin through life. This little fortune of mine not only gave me
consequence, but was the cause of my thinking very highly of myself.
I now was more particular in my attentions to Miss Evelyn, and was
graciously received by her father; neither had I any reason to
complain of my treatment from the young lady. As for your father, he
was quite thrown into the back-ground. He had no property nor hope of
any, except what he might hereafter secure by his diligence and good
conduct; and the attention I received from Mr Evelyn, and also the
head clerk, who had an idea that I was to be a partner and
consequently would become his superior, made him very melancholy and
unhappy--for I believe that then he was quite as much in love with
Miss Evelyn as I was myself; and I must tell you, that my love for
her was unbounded, and she well deserved it. But all these happy
prospects were overthrown by my own folly. As soon as it was known
that I had property left to me, I was surrounded by many others who
requested to be introduced to me, and my evenings were passed in what
I considered very good company, but which proved the very reverse. By
degrees I took to gambling, and after a time, lost more money than I
could afford to pay. This caused me to have recourse to a Jew, who
advanced me loans at a large interest to be repaid at my coming of
age. Trying to win back my money, I at last found myself indebted to
the Jew for the sum of nearly L1000. The more that I became involved,