later the governor visited me by a side door, with his account of the
symptoms of my patients.

Enter a tall Hoosier, the governor having retired. "Now, doc," says
the Hoosier, "I've been handled awful these two years back." "Stop!" I
exclaimed. "Open your eyes. There, now, let me see," taking his pulse
as I speak. "Ah, you've a pain there, and there, and you can't sleep;
cocktails don't agree any longer. Weren't you bit by a dog two years
ago?" "I was," says the Hoosier, in amazement. "Sir," I reply, "you have
chronic hydrophobia. It's the water in the cocktails that disagrees
with you. My bitters will cure you in a week, sir. No more whisky--drink
milk."

The astonishment of my patient at these accurate revelations may be
imagined. He is allowed to wait for his medicine in the anteroom, where
the chances are in favor of his relating how wonderfully I had told all
his symptoms at a glance.

Governor Brown of Arkansas was a small but clever actor, whom I met
in the billiard-room, and who day after day, in varying disguises and
modes, played off the same tricks, to our great common advantage.

At my friend's suggestion, we very soon added to our resources by
the purchase of two electromagnetic batteries. This special means of
treating all classes of maladies has advantages which are altogether
peculiar. In the first place, you instruct your patient that the
treatment is of necessity a long one. A striking mode of putting it is
to say, "Sir, you have been six months getting ill; it will require six
months for a cure." There is a correct sound about such a phrase, and it
is sure to satisfy. Two sittings a week, at two dollars a sitting, will