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The Autobiography of a Quack and the Case of George Dedlow by S. Weir (Silas Weir) Mitchell
page 48 of 95 (50%)
pay. In many cases the patient gets well while you are electrifying him.
Whether or not the electricity cured him is a thing I shall never know.
If, however, he began to show signs of impatience, I advised him that
he would require a year's treatment, and suggested that it would be
economical for him to buy a battery and use it at home. Thus advised,
he pays you twenty dollars for an instrument which cost you ten, and you
are rid of a troublesome case.

If the reader has followed me closely, he will have learned that I am
a man of large and liberal views in my profession, and of a very
justifiable ambition. The idea has often occurred to me of combining in
one establishment all the various modes of practice which are known
as irregular. This, as will be understood, is really only a wider
application of the idea which prompted me to unite in my own business
homeopathy and the practice of medicine. I proposed to my partner,
accordingly, to combine with our present business that of spiritualism,
which I knew had been very profitably turned to account in connection
with medical practice. As soon as he agreed to this plan, which, by the
way, I hoped to enlarge so as to include all the available isms, I set
about making such preparations as were necessary. I remembered having
read somewhere that a Dr. Schiff had shown that he could produce
remarkable "knockings," so called, by voluntarily dislocating the great
toe and then forcibly drawing it back into its socket. A still better
noise could be made by throwing the tendon of the peroneus longus muscle
out of the hollow in which it lies, alongside of the ankle. After some
effort I was able to accomplish both feats quite readily, and could
occasion a remarkable variety of sounds, according to the power which I
employed or the positions which I occupied at the time. As to all other
matters, I trusted to the suggestions of my own ingenuity, which, as a
rule, has rarely failed me.
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