use of the drug. For several days previous to this I had abandoned my
bed, through apprehension of falling whenever partial sleep left the
tumbling and tossing body exempt from the control of the will, and had
betaken myself to a low couch made up before the fire, with a second
bed on the floor by its side. The necessity for such precaution was
repeatedly indicated, but through the kindest care of those whose
solicitude never ceased, and who added inexpressibly to this kindness
by controlling as far as possible every appearance of solicitude, no
injury resulted.

Under the accumulated agony of this part of the trial I began to fear
that my mind might give way. I was conscious of occasional fury of
temper under very slight provocation. An expressman had charged me
what was really an extortionate sum for bringing out a carriage from
the city. I can laugh now over the absurd way in which I attacked
him, not so much I am sure to save the overcharge as to get rid on so
legitimate an object of my accumulated irritability. After nearly an
hour's angry dispute, in which I watched successfully and with a
malicious ingenuity for any opening through which I could enrage him,
and for doing which I am certain he would forgive me if he had known
how much I was suffering, he at last gave up the contest by
exclaiming, "For heaven's sake give me any thing you please--only let
me go!" I had not only saved my money, but felt myself greatly
refreshed at finding there was so much life left in me.

It should have been stated before, that when the daily allowance had
been reduced to six grains that quantity was divided into twelve
pills, and that as this was diminished the size of the pills became
gradually smaller till each of them only represented an eighth of a
grain. As the daily amount of opium became smaller, although its