Business Correspondence by Anonymous
page 51 of 354 (14%)
page 51 of 354 (14%)
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* * * * * As a matter of fact, the gentleman to whom this letter was sent had written with a lead pencil on a post card asking for further particulars regarding propositions to salesmen. It is a good illustration of the form letter gone wrong. The inquirer had not written a concise and business-like letter and there was not the slightest reason why the firm should send him a personal and confidential proposition and if the proposition were really confidential, it would not be printed in a circular letter. Here is the opening paragraph of a letter typical in its lack of originality and attention-getting qualities: "We are in receipt of yours of recent date and in reply wish to state that you will find under separate cover a copy of our latest catalogue, illustrating and describing our Wonder Lighting System. We are sure the information contained in this catalogue will be of interest to you." * * * * * Not only is the paragraph devoid of interest-getting features, but it is written from the wrong standpoint--"we" instead of "you." Re-write the paragraph and the reader is certain to have his interest stimulated: |
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